=)

Maybe I am too stupid. I have been seriously thinking about my IQ. It doesn't seem I am actually thinking well. But it is impossible for me to visualize how much can people change. Not even me. I guess, I notice it because I know myself better than anything and anyone in this world. But is it my fault? Is it my way to do certain things that made the rest of the world to act that stupidly? And prolly I am kind of overreacting but I really can't see why do people do certain things. And even tho I LOVE philosophy I am not into discover people's brain's secrets. Nevertheless, I don't get if it's me or what. We all lie, we all love, we all dislike, we all dream, for God's sake! but why... why does people has to look at the rest of the world like puppets. And I hate to say this, but I don't consider myself a bad person, a stupid person (as in UNsmart), an evil person, an ugly person.... not that I am wonderful, I know I'm not, but there are several things I really consider I don't deserve. And there's another controvesial point. I do believe we all get what we deserve. Good or bad things are both included in our list of things we HAVE to learn in life. But, once again, what the fuck?

Thankfully, I don't hate. And I try to harvest good feeling in me, because I do believe in karma. but I think, sometimes, I wish I could play with the world - and with people - like people themselves do. I wish I wouldn't care. I wish I was that 'cold'. I wish I was able to forget what I felt yesterday. I wish I was able to forget those important people that were someday in my heart. I wish I could erase.

This is pointless. I just can't do it. Or more specific, I just can't get it.

It's done. I give up on this. I let down.

I wish I wan't honest, so I could lie and then just forget what I promised. but well, in that moment I'd stop being me.

What I wonder is, what does that matter?

Now... nothing. Nothing at all.-