What makes you shine?

I lie in a bed, post, drug, sex.

And there I was. Standing. Looking at the sky. That strange mix between red and purple that was dyeing the night. I could tell it was at night though. I could, because I was there. Standing. Looking at the sky. Thinking the same thought I think every single night of my life. Every night that seems to be the same night. And I can clearly remind that night. I can see every night of my life, your silhouette walking away from me. I can see me standing in the middle of the road. Following your figure from the distance, smoking, seeing you leaving. Walking at 2 am. Leaving... like fleeing from me. From my house, from the sheets I left on my bed. From the door I shut for a last time for you. And for me. Every night I remember your fear of walkin' thru security. I remember the last time I held you in my arms. The last time I looked at you in the face. Every night of my life I remember the last words I said. What you said...

I randomly remember that night sitting down nearby the pool.

Every night I look at the moon. And I remember what I did after you left. Walking. I stopped at Lynda's. Just to stare at the empty house. Then I stopped once again to make some promises. To cry a little more. To keep asking the sky why?

I never meant to leave. I never meant to leave you. And every night I stand in front of the stars and wonder why did I do it. Like last night. There I was. Standing. Looking at the sky. Looking at the infinite city in front of me. An everlasting show of midnight lights. I couldn't tell where did the lights end. I looked at the city and wondered, once again. I looked at the moon again. On mute, as usual. With the last smoke of my cigarette going out of my mouth. And I couldn't answer my questions. I never can. Do they have answers? Does someone have them? Do you? Do I?

I can see every night, just like tonight, the scene of me walking all alone all the way down the street. Taking a cab. Going somewhere else. Somewhere else I don't belong to. Leaving a place I don't belong to either. Once I heard that is hard to be somwhere else when you realise you belong to a place. And it's true... I can feel it every night, when I remind your hand holding mine like anything else on earth matters. Anything else but love.

The city lights up every night. And evey morning it dies and take the lights away. And every time the night dies, I am a little closer to the day I see your eyes again.