An endless love song

Let's suppose our lives are a musical. That everysingle step we take, there is a song being played in background. Like... there's no moment that hasn't been written before. Every single moment we live has a song; a particular song being played in that specific second. It could be nice. And, as a matter of fact, I've felt it. I cannot just go out without music. With or without a sort of music player there is always a song being played in my head. Sometimes, I think I am in a music video, just because that song being played in that moment is making my day. I always sing. On the underground, on the bus, down the street, at home... everywhere, always. Nevertheless, lately, there are not many songs in my life playlist. I've always thought you always need a silly love song every once in a while. Those times we really like it. And it doesn't matter if you cry, or it gives you chills, or if it is just perfect. There is always a silly love song around. But now... now it's different. Now there's always one of these songs being whispered in my ear. As there was nothing else in this world that this strange feeling I've got locked in my heart. Something that just a love song releases it. But I don't get to understand. What are these love songs inquiring? What is this note I have attached to my heart mean? What should I do? What am I able to do about this? And then they come like blades. Words filling my head like knives drowing an everlasting speech. Stifling me. Soffocating me. Choking me with questions and answers and thoughts and sounds and feelings... and feelings I've never felt before. Or maybe I have and I don't know I have. Or I have felt them in some different way. How could I find this out? And then I start refusing the idea of thinking but I can't and it comes and goes and comes and goes and stops and vanishes like everything vanishes in this world, and it comes again like an endless song. Longer than any song you've ever hear before. Taking me higher than the highest I've ever been and then it throws me down. Hard... hard into the asphalt. But the song is still there. All attached. Played in a loop. All over again... as music would be trying to tell me something. Anyways, the hot and dry summer doesn't let me think very well. I don't speak that much... everything I pronounce, every once in a while, are the lyrics I learnt by heart someday in the past...