Monday, May 07, 2007

/ bɪ'lɪ:v ɪn mɪ: əz aɪ bɪ'lɪ:v ɪn jʊ: /

And there is nothing else to see. I'm so tired... And awfully is not for my acts. I used to be always trying to get better my own acts, but this is more than what I can do. I know that there’s some shit like 'life way' or whatever but have it to be so hard? But it’s even harder to realize that you’re so tired. To realize that you has been so stupid through the time. I’m at the limbo. I really don’t know what to do… or what to think at every moment. I feel like shit because I’m behaving like a fool all the time, and I never get realized at the right moment.
I know that life’s like this. Everybody says it… but, what’s da idea? I know that this kind of think always happen… but why noone says what one should to do? I feel empty one again. I’m almost seeing myselft to make the same mistakes again…

Again… “And it repeats all over again…” how to forget it…

And that’s what I hate… [the end…] see what I’m seeing and can’t do anything. And maybe that’s the problem… maybe I do can do something but I don’t act. Maybe I [memories] know that I know that there’s an exit, actually I know that there’s an exit, but I repeat [last of the end] I don’t know what to do .
Maybe my mistakes don’t let me see all the things I should.
I still feel empty… just like everything has got over. So slow that noone could realize before. I know that that feel isn’t [reminiscence] so far of the realm, but how hurts to know that fucking shit. To know that that’s fucking true. I feel empty as much as I feel lost. Have no fuel. Nothing to fulfill nothing in me. And, the worst is that I should. Because there are to many thing I’m living for… but that feel is not gone yet… maybe it’s right to think “betrayed by all I was living for”. [from yonder].
That’s why I don’t know what to do. Because I know what I’m trying to live for and I have no reward. I always have needed love. That fucking thing that supposedly all people feel. And I have always tried to give that love in the other way around. Maybe I can’t always do it all right but, that has been always my fuel. And now I’m seeing how slowly it’s taken away from me with no reward at all. How sad.
But further on, I’m feeling like a totally ungreatful with all the rest of my world [leben]

And that is the image that I have in my mind… my world going down… almost destructed and whit all that pieces in my hand with no fix ability.

I’m going under… because I’m getting empty. I always forget myself before everything I do. [for you]

But I’m sure that I want to survive. I want to go on… beside.

I’ll be always expecting you to dedicate me the most beautiful song.
I’ll be always waiting for your voice to follow it.
I’ll be always looking at your eyes looking forward for a ansewer…
For love...
For your love.

mou sukoshi de boku wa kieru kedo...
soredemo kimi dake wa hanashitaku wa nai
setsunai kurai kimi ni tsutsumareta ano hibi o
boku wa wasurenai

0 meow: